Show Notes

Guest:

Trina Haynes

• instagram.com/myladyadhd
• myladyadhd.com

Sponsor:

Llama Life (use JESSELLAMA20 code for 20% discount)

Links and show notes:

• Julie Teffeteller
• I Am ADHD, ADHD Is Me: How Your Mental Disorder Becomes Your Personality
• Multi-Pens
• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A.
• Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers
• Stop Asking Questions by Andrew Warner

Transcript

Trina Haynes: I think I've been in the burnout cycle continuously my whole entire life. And I've, I've seen little pieces of like peace and calm, which is the in-between burnout, but it's very small. It's very short and I'm right back in burnout again.

Jesse: Hey, my name is Jesse J. Anderson host of the ADHD Nerds podcast. The show where we talk about living with ADHD and have some fun along the way.

Jesse: This is episode two. And today I'm talking with Trina Haynes. Trina is an ADHD advocate and owner of the My Lady ADHD platform, which helps to educate and empower newly diagnosed ADHDers. Having received an ADHD diagnosis later in life, Trina offers humorous and down to earth content that often helps others recognize their own ADHD symptoms.

Jesse: Today, we're going to be talking about how to recognize and avoid ADHD burnout, as well as some of the overlap in symptoms between ADHD and Multiple Sclerosis.

Jesse: But first I'd like to thank our sponsor, Llama Life. Say goodbye to never-ending lists and hello to daily bliss. Llama Life is a perfect tool for managing time boxed working sessions. You can whiz through your monstrous to do list, finish your work on time, and get the things done that you said you would do. To get your free trial, go to adhdnerds.com/llama that's L L A M A and get started today. And you can save 20% by using the coupon code JESSELLAMA20. That's J E S S E L L A M A 2 0. Now let's get to the show.

Jesse: All right, Trina. Thank you so much for being here today. It's great to have you on the podcast. I thought we would start just by asking, what's your history like with ADHD?

Jesse: When did you first find out that you had it or, you know, get that inkling that you might have it? What does that origin story look like for you?

Trina Haynes: Well, first of all, thank you for having me on. I'm really happy to be here. Um, my origin story is I'm pretty new to ADHD. So I was diagnosed last year. So 2021, I'm a baby with ADHD. Um, but that being said, I have kind of a long history with it as like my sister has been telling me for years that I had ADHD and I just kind of ignored it.

Trina Haynes: But it kinda came about when I moved last year. I moved about eight hours away, um, and I started a new job. And I was really struggling at my job. So, a job that I was kind of perfect. It like checked all the boxes for me. It was the right pay, the right career, the right flexibility. It like, all the boxes were checked, but I was like majorly, struggling at work.

Jesse: Right.

Trina Haynes: So I ended up going to therapy to like deal with this because I was having panic attacks, which were kind of new. I have anxiety, it turns out. And my therapist, I was really lucky, my therapist has ADHD. So she recognized it in me immediately. And referred me out. so that's kind of how I got started with ADHD.

Trina Haynes: There's a little bit more that goes into that. My sister that kept saying I had ADHD. She also has, MS. So she has multiple sclerosis. So I thought I had MS. Like that's how, that's how my brain was messing with me so much. Like I had so many concerns about like how things were functioning that I thought I don't have ADHD, I have multiple sclerosis.

Trina Haynes: So I actually went and got a brain scan, right before therapy started. And my, neuro, what are they call the neurologist? Who did my MRI said, um, you don't have MS, but have you ever thought about ADHD?

Jesse: Really? That's so interesting.

Trina Haynes: Yeah.

Jesse: I've never heard of that happening from a brain scan going that way. Yeah. That's really interesting.

Trina Haynes: Yeah. I mean, he didn't like see anything. I don't that like brought that up. But I think just my symptoms, he was like, oh, this sounds a little bit more like, uh, ADHD. So, um, it was kind of the combination of like going in to get tested for MS and finding out that I didn't have it and then going to therapy and my therapist has ADHD.

Trina Haynes: And then all the pieces started coming together. There was also Instagram reels that I was like really mad connecting to. So it was like all of this, all of that happened in the same month, basically. And so light bulb moment, um, when I got diagnosed. So yeah, that's pretty much, that's pretty much how.

Jesse: That's interesting. So your sister had been suggesting it, does she have ADHD.

Trina Haynes: She does. So she's in that terrible, like trifecta of having MS and ADHD. So what I was seeing from her and relating to was not MS. It was ADHD. so the pieces make sense. Now. I just thought there's no way I have ADHD. I thought that ADHD was for little boys. When in school, like this isn't something that adult women have.

Trina Haynes: And so I clearly have MS. Like, it can't be ADHD. It has to be, you know, something different in my brain. So I was on the right path, like is going on in there. Um, but I did miss the mark for quite awhile.

Jesse: Right right, Once you, once you got your diagnosis, did any particular stories, like looking back really jump out as obvious kind of ADHD moments for you?

Trina Haynes: So many. Yeah. mostly school. I really struggled in, um, middle and high school and college. Like I, I did not graduate college. I barely graduated high school. Um, just the job hopping. I have been like a serial job hopper forever. Um, just never satisfied at work and really struggling to get work done.

Trina Haynes: And those, those two things were probably my biggest ones, but also like I lose my keys and I put a pan of bacon in the oven and leave the house. Like I, like that's why I thought I had MS. I thought those were like MS related symptoms. So I thought like, oh, I'm clumsy because of MS. Like, I was pretty convinced that I had MS.

Trina Haynes: So I was a little shocked when they said, no, I'm like, well, what, what could it be? So, very interesting, very interesting turn of events.

Jesse: Yeah, that's funny. You say the, uh, job hopping I've I think I've had, I was trying to count recently. I think I've had over 30 jobs, which is pretty wild, and I think that's super common with people with ADHD, we kind of jump around trying to, you know, we're trying to find that thing that seems to fit because we know something's not fitting and we kind of jump into a job that we're excited about.

Jesse: Like you were saying, your new job. You thought it was a really good fit and you thought it was gonna work. And then for some reason, those symptoms kind of crop up and then we get bored or we get restless or something really just sort of like thwarts our efforts to make that job work. Then we jumped to another job and like, maybe this is going to be the solution.

Trina Haynes: That's been the biggest part of my life is like trying to figure out the job thing and like, why am I not satisfied anywhere? Why am I struggling in this? And it came to a head last year when I found myself in the perfect role for me. And I thought, okay, this is the role you've been looking for your whole life.

Trina Haynes: This is like the perfect role. What is, why are you still like this? Like, what is the problem? Why are you still struggling? So, um, I was having a lot of negative self-talk. Like beating myself up, like, why can't you just make this job work? Like, what is wrong with you? Like really negative towards myself, which which led to the anxiety and the panic attacks.

Trina Haynes: Let me fast track to now. Um, my therapist kind of walked me through, like I actually left that job. Um, it was not, it was not as good as I thought it was like, was kind of toxic for me and it was, it wasn't a good place for me to be. So yeah, things have changed a lot since I got diagnosed and now I have my ADHD community, which is like a big deal for me.

Trina Haynes: So I'm, re-evaluating everything the time.

Jesse: Right. Yeah. So let's talk about that. You, since getting diagnosed, you really have jumped in, yeah. Like community and online advocation, you know. I've, I've found you from your Instagram and you do lots of like fun reels and all that sort of stuff.

Jesse: What led you in that direction?

Trina Haynes: Yeah, it's really weird. Um, I had a friend. Her name is Julie Teffeteller. And I have no idea how to spell her last name, but she does relationship coaching on Instagram and she has a really good following and we kind of grew up together. And I thought, you know, if she's doing really well at this, like I wonder if there's an ADHD community out there.

Trina Haynes: Like I had no idea there was a community. So I was like, oh, I looked and I found a couple, but there weren't a ton. And I want to say you were one of the first that I found. There wasn't like a lot. And so I thought, well, I could do this. I could probably start reels. I'm pretty funny. I feel like which most ADHD people do think.

Jesse: That is true, but we, most ADHD people are funny. I think that adds up.

Trina Haynes: We are. I think we're quick witted and we're very creative and funny. So, um, it's a natural fit for me. I've started many an Instagram page, many a website. Um, uh, in my lifetime just chasing that career.

Trina Haynes: But this was kind of different for me as far as like, this was for me to start this, wasn't like, oh, I'm going to make a career out of this. This was like, I need a community to relate to. Because I'm struggling to relate to anyone at all. And then just people came out of the woodworks, apparently there's a lot of us.

Jesse: Right. Yeah, it's funny. I kind of feel similar. I started sharing my own content about ADHD about a year ago, and just sort of talking on like what I've learned and what my experience is. And I think the key word that you mentioned there, like community is really what it feels. you know, there's content creators that talk about their audience and it never really feels like an audience to me in ADHD.

Jesse: Like it really feels.

Trina Haynes: Like a family.

Jesse: Yeah, yeah. It's, there's such family community aspect to it.

Trina Haynes: I had, I had the craziest, like epiphany last night last night I was talking to my husband about this and I was like, the ADHD community is not like the weightlifting community on Instagram. It's not the makeup, it's not the jewelry. It's like we need each other, like we like we actually need each other to validate what has been happening.

Trina Haynes: And so like, everyone in this community is so grateful for each other. So it's like a different level of social media that I don't know if I've seen before, where people are like, thank you for being here. I need this content. Like this means a lot to me. My boyfriend's going to follow you so that he understands me. My husband's going to follow you so that he understands, he like, it's creating more of like a understanding of yourself through other people. And it's very unique. I don't know of another community online that that is like this.

Jesse: Yeah, for sure. I hear the same thing from people that say I'm following you so I can better understand my husband or wife or child or something like that.

Jesse: And yeah, there's just so many, I think when you have ADHD, especially if you're diagnosed late. You've gone through so much of your life feeling alone and not knowing why. Like you just, a lot of people will say like, oh, you know, think of it like, I have weird quirks with my brain or like for me, I thought they were family quirks.

Jesse: I was like, well, my dad's like this. And my brother's like this, no one else I know is like this, but it must just be weird family quirks. And come to find out. It's like, oh my entire family, my mother, my father, brother, and sister, we all have ADHD. And so that's why we have all these family quirks.

Jesse: They're actually ADHD symptoms.

Jesse: But because of that, like, I think so many people. That have ADHD grow up and they just feel alone and they feel weird and different and they can't explain why they're like, I know my brain is different than other people, but I don't like it doesn't really make sense why.

Jesse: And now that, for all the good and bad or whatever, with social media, like it's allowing people with ADHD to discover each other and find out like, hey, I'm not weird. There's a lot of people struggling the same way I am. And it's not just like you, it's not the moral failing that so many people around me said when I was growing up, because there was behavior that I couldn't explain.

Jesse: And no one else could explain either other than saying that, being lazy or selfish or, you know, stubborn or whatever it was. And yeah, think the online community has really helped us to discover like, hey, there's, there's more going on here and I can be accepted with these other people that get me. That really like, a lot of the jokes that, you know, people will post with ADHD that, you know, from within the community, it's like people, neurotypical people on the outside kind of like, don't really get it a lot of the time.

Jesse: I'm like, I'll say something, you know, I talk with my wife and she's non ADHD and she's had a fun lesson of figuring that out because I, at least one of our kids has ADHD and we she's diagnosed. And our other two, we suspect also have ADHD.

Jesse: So she's kind of having to figure out this whole wild world of ADHD that she didn't necessarily know that she was signing up for when we got married. Um, but, and she's been great at figuring that out.

Trina Haynes: Aw, poor woman.

Jesse: Right. But yeah, so the point is like, sometimes I'll say something to her, like, oh, I'm going to post this thing about this kind of common thing with ADHD. And she's like, is that a thing that does not make any sense to me?

Jesse: And I'll be like, oh, I don't know. I'll find out. And sure enough.

Trina Haynes: I do the same.

Jesse: People will say oh on like, oh, this so me or you're calling me out or whatever. Yeah.

Trina Haynes: Yeah. Sometimes I'll post one and I'm like, you know, I don't know if this is a me thing or an everybody thing, but I think it is, and I'll wait and sure enough, it's like, everyone's like, this is me. And you're like, it's validating me. Like, I, get more out of the Instagram page than they do.

Trina Haynes: And I tried to explain, like, people will say, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I'm like, no. Thank you. Like you just validated the craziness in my head. Like I, this, these aren't character flaws, is it's a quirk, I guess, but it's like, we're all feeling these things. So it is validating for me. So that's why I started the page.

Trina Haynes: That's why I continue to do the page it's it's a selfish, selfish reason is because I get a lot out of it personally. Um.

Jesse: Yeah. Same way.

Trina Haynes: And the dopamine. I mean, it helps a little bit, like I get both.

Jesse: Yeah. I feel the same way. Like getting that validation a lot of the time, the stuff I post, I'm just like, I don't know if this is just a weird me thing. And it's like, oh nope, that's another ADHD thing. Cause everyone's kind of jumping on board and yeah, getting the dopamine definitely is a driver to keep doing that.

Jesse: Another thing I'd love to talk to you about.

Trina Haynes: I'm, not going to lie. I'm not gonna lie. I have posted stuff where I'm like, this is probably everyone and then no one likes it.

Jesse: Right.

Trina Haynes: Okay. Okay. All right. That was just me. I'm going to delete that.

Jesse: Yeah. There's a little bit of that, uh, finding that line. I think I, when I was diagnosed with ADHD, I went through a little bit of like personality crisis.

Jesse: What is me and what is the ADHD? And I, I wrote an article about that, like I am ADHD because I feel so much of it it's just who I am. But yeah, there is, there is those moments of discovering like, oh, okay. That one thing that is just, a weird me thing,

Jesse: Which great find that out because I'm like, okay, that can be a weird me thing.

Jesse: And that's cool because then it shows I'm more than just ADHD, despite how important ADHD is to how my brain works.

Trina Haynes: Right.

Jesse: Yeah.

Trina Haynes: Right. And I do think I'm like clumsier than the average ADHD person, have that going for me. And like, there's certain things that like, I do a little extra than the normal ADHD person. So it is nice to like, own something, that's your quirk. That's not related to the ADHD world. So, you know, we are all still individuals, even though we have ADHD,

Trina Haynes: Which is important to remember.

Jesse: Right. Yeah, for sure. Uh, so I want to ask you about, you've been posting content recently about ADHD burnout, and I think this is a really important topic for people with ADHD. I know I kind of experienced, I recently was talking about how I, I feel like a lot of the time, my process for, I don't know, managing projects or whatever is, I feel like I'm juggling chainsaws.

Jesse: And when it feels like everything's about to come crashing down, my solution is to like add more chainsaws. Like it's like, oh no.

Trina Haynes: Wow.

Jesse: This like I'm like reaching the end or I'm starting to get bored of this or something. And so I got to make it more exciting. And then I just start adding more chainsaws of the show and then it's just like chaos.

Jesse: Um, yeah. So I'd love to hear, uh, what you think about ADHD burnout and what that's been like for you?

Trina Haynes: We are the same. We're same Um, well, that's funny. I had therapy this morning and we discussed this very thing because I'm reaching the end of a burnout cycle right now. And so I'm trying to like prevent myself from getting back in one, which whole nother beast, but I'll tell you a little rundown about ADHD burnout.

Trina Haynes: I had no idea what this was. I had never heard of ADHD burnout until like two months ago. And of course somebody mentioned it, maybe you, someone online mentioned it. And I was like, what is this? So I Googled it. And the thing that popped up was the definition of my life. So, uh, I'll read it for you. This is when you Google ADHD burnout.

Trina Haynes: ADHD burnout is often something, a little deeper. It refers to the cycle of over-committing and overextending that leads to fatigue in people with ADHD. It involves taking on too many tasks, and or commitments and then the subsequent exhaustion that happens when we are unable to fulfill all of our obligations.

Jesse: Wow.

Trina Haynes: I read that and I thought, this is my whole life. I have been, I think I've been in the burnout cycle continuously my whole entire life. And I've, I've seen little pieces of like peace and calm, which is the in-between burnout, but it's very small. It's very short and I'm right back in burnout again, right after Um, therapy has really helped me to like see that and fig and like recognize it, but I'm still like, I'm just now coming off of a burnout cycle because I had two full-time jobs. I was doing the ADHD part, like the ADHD page. I was working part-time for my mom and I homeschool my daughter. So I did the math and it was like four full-time jobs basically Um, but the problem is, is I didn't even like realize that I was doing that. I just was like, this is all I know. All I know is juggling 50 things at once. Um, and so seeing that on Google really hit me in a way that was like, oh my God, this is, this is not good. Like, this is, there's a name for this and it's called ADHD burnout.

Trina Haynes: And you would probably don't want to be there. Like we probably need to get out of that. So, yeah, I'm, I'm working in therapy to like come off of that, but also to stay off if not forever, but like longer, because inevitably I will probably end up doing four full-time jobs again. But, you know, maybe I can recognize it and like come off of that quicker next time.

Trina Haynes: So that's what I'm working on. Um, and like educating other ADHDers about burnout so that they can recognize it because I didn't even know that this was happening, even though I had full-time, four full-time jobs. I didn't even realize that was the norm for me. So, um, yeah. Now I have one full-time job.

Trina Haynes: I do the, I do the Instagram. And I'm coming down from ADHD burnout, but just yesterday I told my husband, I was like, hey, we should start teaching, painting classes at breweries again, because I used to do that. I'm like, and I caught myself and I was like, no, we don't need to do that. So my therapist is like, okay, just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Trina Haynes: And just really looking at my calendar and making like, really paying attention to my time and what I want to do with my time. That is the biggest takeaway with ADHD burnout for me.

Jesse: Yeah. I think it's, so I think it's so important to, to have labels for things. So I think like being able to recognize ADHD, burnout becomes so much easier when, you know, it's a thing, like I think that's why. Rejection sensitive dysphoria has really connected with so many people because it's like, it's not even a real thing.

Jesse: Like you can't be diagnosed with having rejection sensitive dysphoria, but by labeling it, it really, and kind of recognizing what it is. It really helps you to be able to identify it and deal with it. And it's the same with the ADHD burnout, like you said, I, my, my wife had mentioned a few weeks ago to me.

Jesse: She's like, um, so it looks like you're starting a podcast. Um, cause she saw it, you know, something I posted on Instagram and I was like, oh, uh, yeah, I guess I didn't tell you that. Um, I'm just going to do this and she's like, you're kind of doing a lot. Um, and it's so easy.

Trina Haynes: That's a good point because that's what happened is my family members and the ones that love me and the ones that are closest to me are the ones that call me out and be like, Mmm, you're doing too much. Like, you may want to reevaluate, like, what's going on? Are you sure you want to do this?

Trina Haynes: Do you have time for this? And like, your wife is obviously very aware of like, what's going on. So it's very important to have someone near you that can like, kind of call you out on it. Cause you may not recognize that you're doing it. And it sounds like you kind of are doing it

Jesse: Yeah. I, I agree. I think that really helps. Cause I, she said that and I was like, yeah, what do you mean? What's the big deal? And she's like, uh, you're doing kind of a lot. Uh, have you thought about what, how much work this is going to be? And I hadn't realized just like, hey, this sounds exciting. I'm going to do this.

Jesse: And it makes sense for me to do that. And then I didn't really like, evaluate like the work that was going to go into it. So through that, like, it helped me to recognize like step back and like, okay, do, does it make sense for the, for me to actually do this? Should I do it? And through that, I'm going to do bi-weekly.

Jesse: So I'm going to do every other week episodes instead of every week. Cause when I, before I was like, I'm going to do it every week. It's going to be amazing I think can take on the world. Yeah.

Trina Haynes: I also am starting a podcast like that is on my agenda, so there's that too, but yeah. Honestly, that's one thing I love about ADHDers is like, we are not afraid to be like, I'm going to start a podcast and I'm gonna start an Instagram and like there's a level of bravery or maybe stupidity.

Trina Haynes: I don't know. You tell me um, it's just naivety maybe of like, I can take on the world, but I like that we're brave enough to like try new things and see what sticks and like, that's one of my favorite things about having ADHD is so I don't.

Jesse: Yeah.

Trina Haynes: I don't really want that to change.

Jesse: For sure. Like I, if there is a pill that took away my ADHD, I wouldn't even consider like sure. I would love some of the negative symptoms to go away, but I love there's so much of me that, uh, that omnipotential is Dr. William Dodson calls it. That idea of like, I can do anything as long as I can, like get that energy and focus to do it.

Jesse: And it's like the podcasting, like, I'm sure there's a lot of people out there that are like, oh, I could never do that. Um, and for me, I thought like, hey, should I do a podcast? Yeah, I'm going to do it. This is going to be amazing. I'm going to dive in fully and learn everything I can and like tackle this new challenge.

Jesse: And I love that about my brain that I just feel like anything is pretty much possible. Uh, if I'm energized enough to like take it on.

Trina Haynes: Yeah. I love that too. That is probably my favorite quality of ADHD. And I've gotten to do a lot of really cool things not afraid to like, do cool things, like some people are. So like, that's something, I mean, I hear ADHDers kind of complain about that part of them where they're like, I never can stick to anything and yeah, but I like the trying new things and seeing what sticks and I guarantee something will stick.

Trina Haynes: Something is bound to stick. Like the odds are in our favor. We try enough things like you could adore podcasting. That could be your thing, that could be it. So it's like, it did take you all of these years of trying all these different things to, to lead you here.

Trina Haynes: And I, I kind of am like a hippie and I believe in some of that, like, everything happens for a reason. And I think that like all of these crazy jobs that we've had have literally led us right here. So I wouldn't really change, any of that, even though it was hard and kind of embarrassing sometimes job hopping all the time.

Trina Haynes: I don't want to be somewhere where I'm not happy. I won't. So I don't really see anything wrong with that.

Jesse: Yeah, for sure I think I think that's an awesome way to wrap this up right here.

Jesse: I'd love to jump into shiny objects.

Jesse: Shiny objects. Uh, I love to end the show with this. It's basically just a time to talk about something you are excited about lately.

Jesse: Maybe it's a book or TV show, something that is grabbing your interest and you're having, you know, it's just your current obsession.

Trina Haynes: I have two things we're talking, we talked about burnout. I do, I did just read the book, um, it's called Burnout, completing the burnout cycle, something along those lines. I'll send it to you so you can share. Um, but it is a great book about burnout and how to close the loop with the burnout cycle.

Trina Haynes: Fabulous read. So I, and I finished the entire book. I hyperfocused, I think, I think other ADHDers would really like it as well. Um, and then my other thing is, is I'll show you, but I'll explain.

Trina Haynes: I don't know if you remember these pens from like when we were kids in the nineties and you seem like you're about my age, but colors, got the different color ink and you click it.

Trina Haynes: And like, you can change the colors out. I feel like it is such an ADHD product because it's clicky and it's multicolor. Like, you can take notes with this bad boy. Like I'm obsessed with these little kids five-year-old pen. Um any kind of, any kind of like prod, like any kind of thing that helps me take notes and helps me do my job.

Trina Haynes: Highlighters and pens and markers and stuff like is a big one for me, because I need that visual, like, like creative side of everything.

Jesse: Yeah. I love It's, it's kind of like a fidget toy built in with like a whole array of pens, but in a one little object it's perfect.

Trina Haynes: I don't know what it's called. I don't know if there's a special name for it's like a multi-pen.

Jesse: yeah.

Trina Haynes: I don't know.

Trina Haynes: But uh, I told my Instagram following, I was going to look up like, maybe there's a nicer adult version of this is my this is my, daughter's pen and she's 12. Um, I stole it from her, but yeah, uh, I'm hoping there's like a grownup version of this.

Jesse: Awesome. Well, if, if you find that you'll have to let me know and we'll put it in the show notes. So other can check that out.

Trina Haynes: Okay. My Lisa Frank pen, I'll share that with everyone.

Jesse: Is Lisa Frank, is that still a brand? Is that still around?

Trina Haynes: It better be. That, I feel, I feel like that's the only reason I did do okay in school was Lisa Frank stuff because like it appeals to my ADHD brain. The bright colors, the animals, like, yeah.

Jesse: That's kinda, I feel like the sensory of the trapper keeper when I was growing up was big, like, oh yeah, that really satisfying velcro.

Trina Haynes: Ahh.

Jesse: open that up yeah, yeah.

Trina Haynes: You gave me chills.

Jesse: Awesome. So um my shiny object. I'll talk about a book. I read it earlier this year. Uh, or it was late last year called Hell Yeah or No. And it's by Derek Sivers.

Jesse: And Derek Sivers, he's got several books. He's written that they're all. I don't think he has ADHD, but they're all very ADHD friendly books because every chapter is basically one to two pages. So it's like really short chapters that are on certain topics.

Trina Haynes: Well, the title. Hell Yeah or No sounds very ADHD.

Trina Haynes: That's pretty much how I live my life. It's like, hell yeah. Or no, and yeah,

Jesse: Right? Yeah. So the book is, the subtitle is what's worth doing and the book is all about sort of like evaluating, basically when you have all these opportunities, like choosing the ones, not the ones that are like, yeah, that would be decent. Like, no, the ones you're really excited about like, hell yeah, I'm going to take that on.

Jesse: Those are the things that you should really embrace and like chase down that passion. Otherwise say no, like if it's, if you're not a hell yeah, you're a no. And I love that, principal and just, uh, his books he's he has several other ones. There's like four of them, I think, that are all the short chapter books and highly recommend it.

Jesse: Very, very ADHD ADHD friendly.

Trina Haynes: Oh, nice. Yeah. I'm going to look that up. What's funny because I've actually been using that phrase. If it's not a hell yes, it's a no, for like 10 years. Like, my like motto in life and I really do think that could be an ADHD motto.

Jesse: Definitely. It definitely fits. Yeah.

Trina Haynes: Yeah. I'm going to have to read that one. I appreciate the recommendation and hopefully I know I'm going to buy it, but can I get through the. That is the question.

Jesse: I mean, that's the, the main reason I recommend it is because I read like 30% of most books. Yeah. But this one, because of those short chapters, it's so easy to just be like, oh, I'm going to read a chapter real quick. And then you read 20 pages because you're just jumping through it and.

Trina Haynes: Oh, good. Okay. Oh, yay. That's exciting. Yeah. And I felt the same way reading the burnout book, but because it was just so in it, it was talking about me. So it was like reading a biography about myself because it's just that's why I was able to hyper-focus on it. So I find books like that for our aDHD brains. Like, it's really nice when you can find a book like that.

Jesse: Yeah, for sure. And since you mentioned that you're going to be starting a podcast soon. Um, I'm going to recommend a second book that I just finished reading called Stop Asking Questions. And it's by Andrew Warner. And it's basically about like how to interview people.

Jesse: And it's also, I don't think he has ADHD or I have no idea, but it's also very ADHD friendly with those short chapters and like example stories that don't overstay their welcome. I feel like a lot of non-fiction books are like, hey, this is a really long story to set up the premise and I'm like a paragraph.

Jesse: And I'm like, okay. Yeah. But get to the where's the good stuff. And this book does a really good job of having, stuff, but it gets to the actionable content really quickly. So that's one.

Trina Haynes: That's exciting. I'm going to hit up the bookstore.

Jesse: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for, uh, being on the podcast. Uh, I'd love to just like where can people follow you and see what you've got going on.

Trina Haynes: Sure. So I am on the lovely world of Instagram at @myladyADHD, which is really hard to say fast. You did, you did really well earlier, cause usually I'm like, like. Um, but it's, uh, @myladyADHD on Instagram and I have a website, My Lady ADHD, um, and it's just a community, mostly women who are just now finding their ADHD diagnosis and just a lot of funny relatable content. Um, kind of similar to what you're doing, but, you know, we, I have, there's a lot more females probably on my page than yours.

Trina Haynes: Um, different symptoms as men sometimes. So different relatable content, but yeah, it's great community. They help me more than I help them. Um, like I said, but yeah, you can find me on there and I will be launching the My Lady ADHD podcast very soon.

Jesse: Awesome. Well, I will have links to all of that in the show notes. You can go to adhdnerds.com to check that out as well as a full transcript. Thank you so much for being here, this was amazing.

Trina Haynes: I know. Thank you for having me. I can't wait.

Trina Haynes: You're going to invite me back. Right? I get to come on weekly or biweekly.

Jesse: Right, every week. We'll just, yeah, we'll just do it.

Trina Haynes: Okay. Let's do it. We'll just talk about our favorite books and fidget toys.

Jesse: That's our show, thanks for listening. If you want to support the show and the other work I do, you can go to patreon.com/jessej. That's J E S S E J.

Jesse: Please don't sign up if it causes you any hardship or difficulty, and you can always support the show for free by leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or hey why not both.

Jesse: Full show notes and transcription are available at adhdnerds.com.